Looking at past

Monday, March 20, 2006

Feeling stupid

At the job, everyday I am feeling being stupid to work here. From boss to colleagues, most of them talk so dumb that sometime I feel that banging my head on a wall is better than hearing them. I realized my mistake of joining this firm in the first week only. In the intoxicated state, I also blurted out this to some like minded friends. After 10 months, I am still toiling here and these like minded friends as per my advice have left this firm. In the first week I almost cried on my stupidity but again I thought it was just vodka. I don't feel easy to leave the ground. So, I just stretched my mistake this long. Every second, even being here make me remind of this mistake. Most of the people here don't have any common sense and above all they show their dumbness with utmost pride. Some even show attitude of a frog in the well. They don't like contradictions or arguments of rationality. I have to counter them by being complete assertive. I really wonder how people can survive with this complete irrationality. It's really strange, how feeling of being inferior is fixed in their minds and their lack of questioning this assertion is also surprising. They don't even have rebellious attitude to grow from their ignorance. They want to be happy with dirt and cry foul if someone try to clean it. What the hell, why they want to stay in mud pool, to stink and rot? I can understand one thing that this stubbornness might have rose due to the cultural clash with north and west. They tried to save themselves with cultural invasion by being stubborn but now the feeling of being looser is granted as normal. Sometime, it makes me feel that calling them pig is appropriate. But again, it’s not in my nature to tell someone that you are dumb. I can argue debate and reason but tell them outright that you can't do it, is not my way. Unfortunately, here I have just this option, they even expect me to tell them that they can't do and leave them. Either I have to take everything on my own and just order them and treat them like slaves. It's more like a dog showing me his ass and a stick to beat him up.

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