An inch further

Last night, I was staying in office till 4 am. I admit, I spent my most of the time in office but it can't be interpreted that I am workaholic. I stay in office not because of work but its more of need to stay with my office desktop. It has internet connection which I can't even dream of getting at my home (In India, even bullock carts are faster than internet connection through phone lines). I am addicted to comp and net, since my college time, so, its not hard that I prefer my lousy room than my cubical.
Today morning, I had a meeting with my boss at 10:30 am. I was just made it in time. Meeting's subject was my future, what else may be boring than that. I was planning to put my papers, thus, it was my boss's game to delay it as possible. We talked on all the issues I have. To my utter surprise, it was one of the most polite discussion I had with my boss. It's really true that when you are leaving, your boss put his/her best foot in front. I didn't have that many problem with this as I was all set to leave and that too with solid good reasons. Talk came around after covering work, office culture, company culture, opportunities in company, futuer goals, ethics to my attitude and academic background. Campus placements had just finished in B-schools and media was all gung-ho with the high salaries. My boss had a point of view that this is unacceptable that one guy is getting such a huge salary. Damn, his common sense, my boss is just quick enough to read numbers and read headlines but he simply failed to read the background of that mammoth salary guy. Boss, though being trying hard to be polite spared me with his thoughts on B-schools but didn't miss to point it out that you should judge yourself with your performance, not the institute.
When people crib about B-schools and high salaries, its more of issue of person's frustration of not having it in his/her pocket. Most of the people aspire to study in these schools, still, these same people start criticising when they find themsleves, not lucky enough to get through. In industry, people give very high value to certifications and work experience in strongly reputed firms. Work experience of a techie, worked in 'Google' for 2 years is considered better than 2 years experience in some other IT company, say Infosys. Previous company's brand makes all the difference as people expect techies to be more professional and intelligent, if he/she worked in 'Google'. The attributes associated with the firm's brand, add up with it's employees credentials. Not only that firm's follow certain practices to have such a brand, they also have strict procedure for selection. Its same for academic institutions. They build their brands with certain strict practices, be it selection criteria or be it academic rigours. If you can survive the rigours of study in an IIM, you can handle the pressures in industry very easily.
Another point, my boss was hard on was that all IITians should do PhDs and all those who do MBAs after IIT are wasting governments precious investment in these institutes. This was simply enough to give my kind of guy a stomach trouble. People consider IITs as hardcore R&D institutes, though it is far from reality. People compare IITs with other indian engineering colleges. Many of these engineering colleges are run in single small buldings, have only graduate students as faculty memebrs, have few flask, tools in small rooms to show for a laboratory. Compared to this, IITs with their huge, lush green campuses, with highly educated faculties with rich experience and accolades, large laboratory halls are dreamlike. True that IITs have far better facilities than any other indian technical institute. Government has spent a lot in IITs. By a common man's point of view, it may appear that IITs are worldclass high tech research institute. But the truth is that IITs don't stand even in comparison with world's top technical institute. Though they have great faculty, great students and large campus, but a great techincal institute also requires high-tech machinery in their labs, testing tools, cutting edge techincal equipments. Sadly, all these require even more money which our petty politicians can't let go beyond their bank accounts. Building these kind of equipments, also need a complete industry back up, where new research can be utilised in economical way and high end technology research can be justified. Again, in India, in the name of technology, we have calling centers, IT body suppliers which instead of developing new products are just happy in serving western corporates. Students entering in IITs are just another kids with little bit better academic performance on the average. Thanks to our society and strong parental control, most of the kids dream of either doctor or engineer. Segregation brains start from school. First preference for most of the students, after their secondary board exams remain 'science', those who were not that lucky to score higher marks in board exams end up in other streams. Here, there are always few courageous students who choose to take other streams, inspite of scoring high. Some have family limitations or particular sub-society's negative preference towards going away, thus they also end up in 'Arts' or 'Commerce' streams. 'Commerce' stream, I guess is most lucky here to get many students who choose it by their first choice, as it is neither considered easy like "arts" nor it is attractive anough for indian parents to push their children in it. Next step of filteration takes place through higher secondary board exams and entrance examinations for different engineering & medical institutes. Medical profession has recently been loosing its steam as most of the doctors end up in small town with meek government salaries. Recent industrial growth has also spawned a better opportunity space for engineers. Preference for secure career and higher pay check make most of the high academic performers in engineering institutes. Even among them, IITs stand out, as I said previously, 'dreamlike'. Lucky few who make it to IITs are protected by the campus walls from the rumbling day-to-day common life. Four years, students chase their dreams, enjoy their time and some even get spoiled by freedom of mind. Though, IITs are not doing much of work in research but they provide a great step stone for students who jump in the plane and fly to greener pasture of US. US, with its great education institutes harvest this brain crop with gusto. Most of the IITians who have interest in research, end up in US universities as these provide much better opportunities and have much better facilities than what an IIT can't even dream of. Some, who are idealist or just don't have any interest in research either end up in industry or top indian B-schools. Strict selection process of these B-schools even filter out this crop. After going through these many filtering nets, when people end up in industry, they are asked that you don't have experience. Bullshit!!!
After carring the burden of high expectations continuously to this age, managing to move in pace, leading the crowd, standing out, you are told that you haven't done well enough!!! Bullshit!!

A dilemma

Normally, people say that it’s hard to get a job but my recent experience taught me that it’s even harder to leave a job. I am not talking about the problem of indecision or confusion to leave or not but I am talking about being released from your employers. Now, as I have got another offer, I am trying to get off from my current firm. Boss's ego is hurt and as always he is too busy to talk to me. What I want to talk to him is that I am leaving. Though its not a new thing, he was already trying to avoid me before. Initially, I was little unsettled but then I tried to make some inroads. Alas, I thought I got it during my review last time but after those 2 hours, it was again the same thing. It may be common when juniors try to avoid their seniors because they tramp you, rag you, it may also be common that a boss tries to not to see someone when he/she is pissed off on him. But in my case, it was not both of these cases. Boss was not pissed off but he was little unsettled by my academic background. I tried hard to belittle it but again, when you are arguing on a point and you show any authority, it is easy to assume that you are showing off. Damn, you have 10 years experience and it makes you an authority in your field then why can't a specialization from the best reputed institutes regarded be the same. I don't have experience but what I have learnt in my education is a gain. If somebody spends 5 years working in a particular sector and other spends 5 years in studying the same sector, who will be regarded more knowledgeable? Both have put their best efforts to get to know about this sector. One has live experience and other is having better perspective and more information. You learn either by doing it yourself or by studying how others do it or did it. Both of these have their advantages and disadvantages. By the current scene, it has become impossible to do everything on your own and also you are just human. This limits learning by your own experience. People, who are working, also learn from other person's experience and rationally it will be always more you learn from others than on your own. In academics, you are not just reading about others experiences but you are learning from one of best peoples who have worked in the industry and now they are teaching in these institutes. They are sharing their experiences with the students.
Again, I am going in the Catcher in The Rye's way, loosing my main topic, on which I started. I sent a mail to my boss that I need to talk to him 2 days back. I was asking that he suggest an appropriate time when I can call him, as he is outside the country we can't talk face to face. I was waiting that at least he will give time for the next day or so. Today, I talked with my HR; she had no idea about the process and asked me again to get approval from my boss, first. Evening time, I noticed that just in backside cubical there was a meeting going on with my boss. He was getting updates from one of the manager. I can't understand why he is ignoring me. I don't have any clue on what he will gain from delaying my release. I am aware of the bitter experience of some of my friends who were simply chided while leaving the job. For one guy, it was so painful that he was about to break down. His boss, though was not the culprit, in the picture was his boss's boss (I will call him super boss). Super boss, known for his temperament, was shouting on his juniors on why this firm has highest attrition rate in the industry. Though the cause was in front of everybody's eyes, nobody dared to point it out to him. My friend's boss was not willing to be rebuked again by super boss, so he cleaned his hands and told my friend to contact super boss directly. Result was same, super boss shouted like Tamil movie heroes shout in movie climaxes. Asshole is more appropriate for this kind of super boss. In the last moment, my friend had decided that they give him releasing letter or not, he will not come to office. He did the same, he paid his due and left with a letter from HR that he has submitted his papers. New firm was more lenient and nobody asked him about his release letter.
Another friend was lucky enough in changing his jackass boss in the same firm before leaving the firm. He got away easily, only with one month delay and paying for three months salary. Another was even luckier as he got a replacement on his post. The point is not that all the bosses in this firm are screwed. There are some good ones also but are rare and they themselves move out on first opportunity. When, I talked to some of my friends working in other firms, it’s same there too. Bosses behave in the same way and good are rare. So, why do we have this huge number of people in responsible position with lack of common sense and no rational?
It's the bureaucracy, set in by our old rulers to exploit us and now set in our genes, killing us everyday, day be day, moving towards complete destruction. That’s a little too heavy sentence for my day :). But can't help it, our society is built on metaphors and it fits the current condition perfectly. We, as a society are still not able to get out of the rags our colonist put on us to make fun of us. We are still showing those rags with pride as of we were naked before and this is the only piece which defines our current civilization from barbarous, inhuman past. Honestly, we can't take criticism, we are afraid of truth which can show our inaptness. We hide them; push them under the mate, till these remove the land we are standing on. Let’s face it; we are living in the age of denial and delusion.
What the hell, for the ages we are living in the age of denial and delusion. It was not just colonists who were crude enough to exploit our stagnation; we had our own pure blooded people who set this wheel of destruction in motion. Our society was not always like this dumb, we had the most inquisitive brains of their times, our society used no to hesitate in questioning anything and following the reason.

Feeling stupid

At the job, everyday I am feeling being stupid to work here. From boss to colleagues, most of them talk so dumb that sometime I feel that banging my head on a wall is better than hearing them. I realized my mistake of joining this firm in the first week only. In the intoxicated state, I also blurted out this to some like minded friends. After 10 months, I am still toiling here and these like minded friends as per my advice have left this firm. In the first week I almost cried on my stupidity but again I thought it was just vodka. I don't feel easy to leave the ground. So, I just stretched my mistake this long. Every second, even being here make me remind of this mistake. Most of the people here don't have any common sense and above all they show their dumbness with utmost pride. Some even show attitude of a frog in the well. They don't like contradictions or arguments of rationality. I have to counter them by being complete assertive. I really wonder how people can survive with this complete irrationality. It's really strange, how feeling of being inferior is fixed in their minds and their lack of questioning this assertion is also surprising. They don't even have rebellious attitude to grow from their ignorance. They want to be happy with dirt and cry foul if someone try to clean it. What the hell, why they want to stay in mud pool, to stink and rot? I can understand one thing that this stubbornness might have rose due to the cultural clash with north and west. They tried to save themselves with cultural invasion by being stubborn but now the feeling of being looser is granted as normal. Sometime, it makes me feel that calling them pig is appropriate. But again, it’s not in my nature to tell someone that you are dumb. I can argue debate and reason but tell them outright that you can't do it, is not my way. Unfortunately, here I have just this option, they even expect me to tell them that they can't do and leave them. Either I have to take everything on my own and just order them and treat them like slaves. It's more like a dog showing me his ass and a stick to beat him up.

Taxi no. 9 2 11

I was hard on spending my sunday in usual lazy fashion but one of my friend called me around 7 pm and without much ado, I ended up in movie theater around 9:45 pm. We were well ahead of movie showtime of 10:15, so, we just hanged there to see some babes standing around. [calling them babes is just a way to feel postive, truth is, there was only one girl who could be classified as a babe, other were, uh..oh...its Chennai, babes here just clinge to their mom's arm]. I heard some good things about this movie from my friends, so, I was not that pessimistic mood.Movie started with booming sound of 'Sanjay Dutt', a short introduction of two main characters in flashback. This was in proper 'bhai language' and both the so called 'chapters' had quite interesting background. Every morning in movie started with huge shout 'ayyo', which was more than enough to alarm any dozing soul. As the story started, it appeared crisp with no added usual' masalas' of bollywood. Sonali Kulkarni was as last time I have sen her in 'Dil Chahta hain', sexy and sensual, with playing her role as wife of Nana Patekar (Raghu) with perfection. Whereas, Sameera Reddy, partnering John Abraham (Jai Mittal), looked fat. She has gained a lot after her last outing in 'Musafir'. She was ok in her role. Story roled on with Raghu and Jai's fighting for their egos. Patekar, came up with some superb dialogues and his appearance of a psycho type was perfect for his role. John had his share of audio but crispy dialogues were given by Patekar only. So, we were saved as John with his 'hip' looks was not shouting like a streetman. Movie made everyone laugh with its intensity and satirical dialogues. They were not far from reality. Good thing was director didn't try to put any cheap jokes in between. It was refreshing, as its a rarity in hindi comedy movies. Comedy was not stretched to the hilt and two hours, I spent there were spent chuckling. John Abraham (Jai), was used properly as he is not known as good at acting, Patekar, as usual brilliant, others pitched in with good performances. Overall, this movie was made with some brain. Worth a watch for two hours of pure entertainment.

Another monday

Thats monday for me. I hate it, raze it, burn it out, hammer it down, but like a dog's tail, it's there, laughing at me, booing me, challenging me to do it again. I don't hate my job that much but it's just that I have better places to pass my time than my office.

Changing times with blogger

On the weekend, there was not much to do except watching a cricket match, a movie, a short trip to a friend's home and reading. In the mean time, I was able to get through many blogs. Most of them were from my juniors. After going through all these, I realized that most of the blogs are starting from first quarter of 2005. Many of regular bloggers started from last of 2004. After looking at so many blogs and reading some good posts, especially on blogcritics, I realized that different people have blogs for different reasons. Ahh.. That’s not a new thing; everyone knows that different people have different views, different thinking and different motives. But the most striking thing that I noticed in most of the blogs I read today was that none was anonymous. Most of the juniors had blogs for sharing their thoughts with all of their friends. Blogs were updated with long breaks and were read by also the same contact group. Some US blogs were for flaunting, writing anything to get noticed by random surfers and get more hits. One guy was stand out, I was able to dig in his 3 blogs, all were on very specific topics, mainly information related to that topic, not his thoughts. He was successful in getting more traffic by pinpointing some general stuff available on net and putting at one place. That's same all the big blogsites are doing. They collate interesting stuff from internet and put it at one place on their blogs. Blogs have become more like magazines, with added functionality of getting updates daily. When initially blogs were launched, idea was that blogs will give people an online diary, where they can share their random thoughts with an option of not giving their identity. Now, blogs has become just a name, you can just keep updating a website with some random news and can call it a blog. People are making money out of this as ‘adsense’ and other tools are paying money for getting more hits. Bloggers are putting the posts to sustain and grow their number of viewers. It’s the same thing done by news and other websites. So, difference is getting thinner between the blogs and normal website. Blog has become more of a personal website for bloggers.

Making economic gains out of blogs is great but isn’t being bound by this against the idea of starting blogs at first place. Blogs were started to give people a free space to let them share their thoughts without any limitations. Economy gain has now bound the ideas with making bloggers aim to retain and growing their viewers. It is the same limitation all newspapers and magazines share with blogs. They also try to retain their customer and publish only those articles which can help them to retain their reader's interest.
Blogs have an advantage in this, as there are no constraints on who is blogging (in most of the countries), everyone have their own space. It’s the different thing that they get noticed or not. On ‘blogcritic’ there was one post (I forgot the link) that more than 70% blogs are not read by anyone (except owner himself). Some use blogs to share their thoughts with close friends but sending a group e-mail or just general chat session or talk is enough for this. To share your thoughts with your friends you don't need a blog, you can just talk to them or send a mail to your mail group.

I will try to divide bloggers, in the following categories:

Journalist/Reporters: These bloggers are professional writers and they use blogs as another let out of their articulated expressions. Their blogs make most of the popular blogs.

Students/Teens: These bloggers put general thoughts and their day to day activity in their blogs. Most of them are full of pictures and use fancy templates. These blogs are viewed by their friends circle mainly.

Common: These bloggers also put their day to day activities and general thoughts on the blog. Added to this, they use blogs as a let out of their grievance against their employers. These blogs help these bloggers to keep in touch with their old friends.

Creative commons: These are the bloggers with some purpose; either to show off their writing skills as writers or showing information on a particular topic. Reason may be any social issue or just funny bones, they get selected audience. Some even use this mode to get more viewers and earn through adsense.

I have to limit this post, as I have some work to do. If someone can add more then it will be great.